she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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