at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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