I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do vagina's smell?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
