Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
