i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
