You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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