I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
