it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
