It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
