You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
