you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
