Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
