so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
