Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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