She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
