RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
