Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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