I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
