You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
