I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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