Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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