Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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