You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
