That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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