I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
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