and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
