Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
