it hurts more in the daytime
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
