hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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