false alarm. still invincible.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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