Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
