We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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