I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
