Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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