girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
