Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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