Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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