So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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