if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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