You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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