There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
