I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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