Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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