I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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