R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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