We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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