You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
