We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
