Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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