U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
