Only a mothe r could love this liver
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
