Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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