True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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