I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
