i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
