his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
